heart the size of arizona, but not nearly so arid

I love the morning and I love the night but the afternoon always bores me. it is 12:20 am and I want...

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:20:00 -0400

I love the morning and I love the night but the afternoon always bores me.

it is 12:20 am and I want so desperately to watch a beautiful old movie right now but I am going to be responsible and go to sleep because I must wake up at 6 o’clock tomorrow morning to get to work. tomorrow, tomorrow I will do things for me

Tulip Fields in Netherlands

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:02:41 -0400

Tulip Fields in Netherlands

Portrait2 by J 0 2 e on Flickr.

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:47:50 -0400

Portrait2 by J 0 2 e on Flickr.

I want to do a lot of things by myself this summer because I think that is necessary and I also want...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:28:04 -0400

I want to do a lot of things by myself this summer because I think that is necessary

and I also want to do a lot of things with lovely people who make me feel good because I think that is also necessary

today

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:21:00 -0400

I reconnected with Taylor after not speaking for a year. things were bad between us, by the time we were just about finished with high school we were also in the throes of finding ourselves, or defining ourselves maybe, and I have realized that I think maybe that is something I needed to be alone for. senior year was when I decided to make a conscious effort to not be cynical, to be friends with or at least friendly to (almost) everybody, but mostly I grew comfortable with myself. I am someone who has always spent a great deal of time alone, but I learned that I needed to balance my alone time with other things - including people - in order to appreciate myself more. that was when I decided to surround myself only with people who made me happy. Taylor has always been one of my best friends, but at that point neither of us were happy, we were just not good for each other, constantly together, constantly being compared to one another, etc etc. it wasn’t healthy so we broke it off, the friendship ended, and it was worse than leaving any romantic relationship I had ever been involved in. not that I even had very many of them, but I never could manage to fully invest myself wholly in a boyfriend in high school (I don’t even know if I can now). but that friendship meant a lot to me, I know it did for both of us, and the end of anything truly meaningful is hard

I was angry at the time, but also sad, and sadness lasts much, much longer than anger. sadness doesn’t fade, I think. I was too shy and scared to see if reconciliation might be an option, but thankfully she wasn’t (I need to stop being scared).

we had coffee today, sat in the rickety chairs until the cafe closed and then we sat on patches of grass overlooking a cold beach, and filled each other in on what we’d missed in the past year. and things were good, and things felt right. these days I promise myself I am only going to do things that feel good and right

phoebe-bird: noellelonghaul: Find Your Medicine. Another...

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:12:00 -0400

phoebe-bird:

noellelonghaul:

Find Your Medicine.

Another patch in the series from Bright Hollow Medicine.

Noel’le Longhaul

I would like to not need any sort of medicine

thank god I know now!!!!! you have saved me from a horrible,...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:27:00 -0400

thank god I know now!!!!! you have saved me from a horrible, unattractive fate, guy who was a douchebag even in middle school.

samdesantis: some people just get it and those are the people you keep the fuck around

Sun, 19 May 2013 01:51:46 -0400

samdesantis:

some people just get it

and those are the people you keep the fuck around

Mantra to Overcome Depression

Sun, 19 May 2013 01:48:14 -0400

larmoyante:

Vitamin D. Sunlight. Go

outside. Get a good night

of sleep. Not too good.

Not shades drawn forever
good. Not like you used to.

Open the windows.

Buy more houseplants.
Breathe. Meditate. (One day,

you will no longer be

afraid of being alone
with your thoughts.)

Exercise. Actually exercise

instead of just googling it.
Eat well. Cook for yourself.

Organize your closet, the

garage. Drink plenty of water
and repeat after me:

I am not a problem

to be solved. Repeat after me:
I am worthy I am worthy I am

neither the mistake nor

the punishment. Forget to take
vitamins. Let the houseplant die.

Eat spoonfuls of peanut butter.

Shave your head. Forget
this poem. It doesn’t matter—

there is no wrong way

to remember the grace of your
own body; no choice

that can unmake itself.

There is only now, here,
look: you are already

forgiven.

by Sierra DeMulder

thank you! I think there is a Sally’s near my house so...

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:35:06 -0400

thank you! I think there is a Sally’s near my house so maybe I will try that :)

twelfthsubwaycar: OH EM GEE ALICIA IT WAS SO GREAT SEEING YOU I LOVE YOU

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:24:47 -0400

twelfthsubwaycar:

OH EM GEE ALICIA IT WAS SO GREAT SEEING YOU

I LOVE YOU

ghostparties: iain mckell - the new gypsies these are so...

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:56:47 -0400

ghostparties:

iain mckell - the new gypsies

these are so beautiful

jewist: Claire Desjardins, Sprouts

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:28:17 -0400

jewist:

Claire Desjardins, Sprouts

It is beautiful out so I’m sitting on the swinging bench...

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:00:18 -0400

It is beautiful out so I’m sitting on the swinging bench in my backyard, wearing my favorite floppy hat and reading grapes of wrath. A nice day indeed

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:35:07 -0400

"I suspect it’s difficult for men to imagine a world in which their bodies have long been..."

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:34:55 -0400

“I suspect it’s difficult for men to imagine a world in which their bodies have long been inextricably linked to their value as an individual, and that no matter how encouraging your parents were or how many positive female role models you had or how self-confident you feel, there is an ever-present pressure that creeps in from all sides, whispering in your ear that you are your body and your body defines you. A world where, from the time of pubescence on, you can feel the constant and palpable weight of the male gaze, and not just from your male peers but from teachers and sports coaches and the fathers of the children you baby-sit, people you’re supposed to respect and trust and look up to, and that first realization that you are being looked at in that way is the beginning of a self-consciousness that you will be unable to shake for the rest of your life.Even if they are never verbalized, the rules of bodily conduct for females become clear early on: when school administrators reprimand you for the inch of midriff that shows when you lift your hands straight in the air or youth group leaders tell you that the sight of your unintentional cleavage is what causes godly young men to fall, you learn that your body is dangerous and shameful and that it’s your responsibility to cloister it in a way that is acceptable to everyone else. You learn that your body is a topic of public debate that everyone is entitled to weigh in on, from a male classmate telling you that those jeans make your ass look huge to the male-dominated United States Congress dictating the parameters that rape must fall within to be considered legitimate. To be a woman, and to live life in a woman’s body, is to be held to a set of comically paradoxical standards that make you constantly second-guess yourself and jump through a million hoops in pursuit of an impossible perfection.”

- Stop Catcalling Me (via albinwonderland)

This is a fantastically clear and salient account of extremely confusing experiences which I have never been able to accurately verbalise. Amazing.

(via theadventuresof-ednamusgraves)

How do we help our daughters! I hate thinking she will feel this one day.

(via a2angel911)

film self portraits are so much more satisfying.

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:57:00 -0400

film self portraits are so much more satisfying.

crumbsinthesand: by Diana Sudyka

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:39:07 -0400

crumbsinthesand:

by Diana Sudyka

mmmm, for the first time in a while I am truly happy today picked up prints, pictures of people I...

Fri, 17 May 2013 23:28:40 -0400

mmmm, for the first time in a while I am truly happy today

picked up prints, pictures of people I love and self portraits that I am actually not self conscious about (even though I’m wearing zero makeup in at least one of them - this shouldn’t be a big deal but it is)
learned that someone I thought I’d never talk to again wants to reconnect/reconcile. I don’t know exactly where this will go but it feels like there was a hole in my chest that I didn’t even know existed for the past year but I finally noticed today once it started to fill
bought batteries for my yashica! they’re 675 hearing aid batteries, I read online that those will supposedly work so I guess I’ll find out tomorrow
and I bought purple hair dye! after walking past too many times in the drugstore saying i’d think about it, maybe soon, etc. I did it. I am only going to dye my ends first, maybe more later, but does anyone have any experience with Splat dye (in Lusty Lavender)? I don’t know anything about this brand but it’s the only one in any drugstores near me and I really want to do this, I’ve been wanting a light lavender/lilac sort of color for a while but I have dark hair so I have a feeling I’ll end up with a sort of brighter purple unless it fades
I saw my best friend tonight and it was sosososo nice. I can’t even explain

a note to myself and a thing to (continue to) remember: only surround yourself with people who make you feel good

thesufjanstevensmodel5000: Thich Nhat Hanh: “I have died...

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:38:55 -0400

thesufjanstevensmodel5000:

Thich Nhat Hanh: “I have died already many times and you die every moment and you are reborn in every moment so that is the way we train ourselves. It is like the tea. When you pour the hot water in the tea, you drink it for the first time, and then you pour again some hot water and you drink, and after that the tea leaves are there in the pot but the flavor has gone into the tea and if you say they die it is not correct because they continue to live on in the tea, so this body is just a residue…”